Disclaimer: This blog is part of a series that focuses on allyship for the queer and trans community; however, many of the suggestions given can apply to allyship to any equity-denied group (e.g., BIPOC communities, people with disabilities, seniors, etc.).
Previously, we explored what “allyship” means, and we’ve discussed how allies can best support equity-denied individuals or groups. If you missed those posts, you can access them online: Allyship: Tips for Being a Helpful Ally and Allyship: What is it?. In this post, we explore ways allies can avoid causing further harm to an individual or movement.
Unfortunately, allies can cause harm, even if their intentions are good. Anastasia Preston, the Trans Community Coordinator for PEERS Alliance, outlined some things that allies may be doing that is not helping the cause they wish to support.
1. Not being aware of micro-aggressions and the impact they can have. A micro-aggression is an action or speech that may seem small or minor to the person doing or saying the thing but can cause harm. There is usually no intent to cause harm; however, microaggressions build and reaffirm unsupportive messages to the equity-denied person. These are often met with a dismissive “oh, you’re overreacting—they didn’t mean that” response, when confronted.
There are many examples of micro-aggressions, including using the wrong pronouns, touching a Black person’s hair, deadnaming a trans person (deadnaming refers to calling a trans person by their birth name, when they have changed their name as part of their transition), asking a racialized person where they are “really from,” assuming intelligence based on speech proficiency, minimizing the role that race, gender, or sexuality plays in our society (“everyone can succeed if they work hard enough”), etc. These so-called “little things” can build and become much bigger to the equity-denied person, and allies are just as guilty of them as non-allies. Educate yourself and listen to equity-denied voices about what is considered a micro-aggression. Then, take steps to eliminate using them.
2. Amplifying something without understanding. Mostly, this comes down to being an informed ally, so you can be a role model to others. Think about the harm that can happen to a movement or cause if those participating in it give mixed messages—if you don’t understand why you’re taking part, consider how that may look to someone unfamiliar with the movement. An example of this is Pride and how it’s more than just a party, as some believe. Pride started as an act of resistance, and that is still present today. As Preston says, “joy can still be a protest when you’re not allowed to exist in the world.”
3. Not knowing the historical context of a movement/cause. Aside from wanting to be informed so that legit information is spread to your circle (some of whom may not be allies), being fully aware of the history of a cause also aids in understanding why people do the things they do. Non-marginalized people can often make assumptions, especially after what they perceive to be “overreactions” within the community—taking the time to learn about the history can explain people’s emotions and reactions.
4. Not understanding that allyship is a commitment. Being an ally, as discussed in an earlier post, is an ongoing process. It’s not a one and done thing; it’s not just attending one protest. An ally shouldn’t just sit back and take a passive role. This doesn’t mean allies have to give the same level of energy every day, but it does mean taking active steps on an ongoing basis. These steps can differ (challenging your own bias, reading/learning, talking with and listening to equity-denied people, attending events, writing letters, etc.), but they are all part of that ongoing commitment.
5. Virtue Signaling: Virtue signaling is when people do allyship performatively or just to be seen doing allyship. Often, you see this during big social movements, where people take selfies attending an event or they’ll change their social media profile pic for one day or one month of the year. No actual changes occur in their daily life, yet they claim to be part of the movement.
6. Not taking people where they are at. We covered this a bit in an earlier post, but a big portion of being a helpful ally is learning how to effectively bring more people into the movement. You want to help people get to that next level, rather than shame them, even if this means tackling one person at a time—it’s a more effective strategy, and if you allow for people to learn and make gradual changes, rather than judge them for not knowing everything all at once, you’re more likely to succeed at getting your point across.
Allyship on PEI
In terms of the queer and trans communities, while more allies are needed, Preston is quick to recognize all the good that has happened on PEI in recent years.
“Generally, things are changing for the better,” she says, “but we need to safeguard the things that we’ve gained. We’re one of the first places in Canada to adopt an X on driver’s licenses. We have the best provincial healthcare of any province in Canada in terms of supporting trans people. It’s not perfect—it could be better—but it’s the best in Canada.”
Recognizing achievements and allowing for hope is also a part of allyship. While it’s always vital to strive for change, we can maintain momentum and recharge by also celebrating what has been achieved.
“I know we see things are really bleak right now in the world,” Preston says. But she also notes, “there’s real hope and real change coming, but these things don’t happen overnight.”
Published Date: July 2025
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